Eddie Cheeseburger was in despair and his live in squeeze Griselda Gherkin was hurt and angry.
'Grisie doll,I am so sorry, honestly it was just a one night stand with Fairy Lights---we were both pissed and she is such a flirt'.
'Oh and you couldn't turn her down---oh --p--l--ease. Fairy Lights flirts with everyone but they don't all sleep with her. Wellhere is some news for you,I'm off to spend Christmas with Tosser Turkey, he always asks me and this year I'm sitting at his table'.
BANG the door slammed shut, the only sound was the ticking of the big clock in the hall.
I've got to think of something quickly---I don't want to lose my gorgeous Gerkin Gal. That old reprobate Big-Mac owes me a favour, where's my cel phone?
'Hi Big mac I need your help my sweet little Gherkin Gal has run off with Tosser Turkey and I don't know how to win her back.
'Eddie get agrip, clean up the house,make it smell good---a few flowers in a vase. She'll be back around January 1. Tosser only mixes with the rest of us once a year, she'll be back, but be ready, freshen up your buns and no onions.
